This quote came across my feed recently and it struck a chord with me. CHOOSE JOY.

I have the privilege of working with so many moms, both new and experienced, both struggling and crushing it. And, if there was one piece of advice that I could bestow on all of them it is this...CHOOSE joy.

I emphasize the CHOOSE rather than the joy because there is so much evidence out in the world that we have the ability to change our mood, change our perspective, change our mindset. WE are the ones in power. Not the children, not the partners in our lives, not our family members, not our circumstances. WE have the power.

As parents, we are often consumed and overloaded with EMOTIONAL STRESS. In particular, relationship stress. Our complex relationships with our spouses, partners, children, parents and extended family can be overwhelming at times. Emotional stress is complicated. It is more dangerous than many other kinds of stress as it often manifests into PHYSICAL PAIN - a feeling of “heaviness” in our chests, a pounding headache that doesn’t go away with medication or a stomach ache that has no apparent cause. And while we might think that the traditional coping mechanisms of problem-solving our way through issues or discussing them with a friend may help, in actuality, this may exasperate the stress and spiral us down into an abyss from our rumination on the problem or situation we are dealing with.

Emotional stress can be extra challenging because we often see the circumstance as ones out of our control. We can’t see how to change the situation and therefore have difficulty handling and coping with these kinds of stress, whether it be relationship stress, financial stress or workplace stress.

What we CAN DO about emotional stress is to find ways to control our emotional response TO the stress. Practicing mindfulness, distracting ourselves in the short term, meditation, alone-time and speaking with a therapist are all ways we can healthily deal with emotional stress.

TWO key ways to help you CHOOSE joy and cope with the emotional stresses of parenting are:

1. MOVE YOUR BODY - Dance, sing, run, walk—moving our bodies IMMEDIATELY changes the chemistry in our blood and releases “feel good” hormones rushing through us. If we can focus in on that feeling and use it to help us through the rough times — what a difference we will see in our lives! What a difference our outlook will be. What strength we will have to bring to each new challenge thrown our way.

2. BREATH - a key way for us to ground ourselves and choose joy. For the really tough moments, deep breathing and focusing on our feet being firmly planted on the ground, focusing on our belly rising and falling with each breath and taking ourselves out of the moment to think about what the bigger picture is will help us to be mindful and able to choose joy.

We and only we are responsible for how we feel. We can decide to CHOOSE joy. I challenge you to focus on your breath and move your body when you need to snap yourself out of the self-pity, ruminating spiral of emotional stress the next time it begins to rear its ugly head.

You got this.